My ex and I had dated for a year and a half before I decided to move across the country so we could be with his family instead of mine for a while. I was pretty excited about the move, even though I hadn't told my parents about it beforehand. (They found out the day of, when my ex showed up {in a limo i might add} to get me)
My mom cried, and I could tell I'd hurt my dad with my actions, but I was still going through a rebellious teenage time (I had just turned 18), and honestly didn't care. I was with the man I loved, the man I thought loved me too.
We got to Napa, California, and I was thrilled beyond belief. It was gorgeous! And I got along great with his cousins, whom I lived with for the first 3 months of my life in Napa. However, 3 days into my new life, he changed...and not for the better.
His cousin Sarah wanted so badly to go swimming in the pool at their (our) house, but didn't want to go by herself. I love swimming, so I agreed to go, and Sarah talked my ex into swimming with us as well. (He'd do almost anything for her!)
We swam and danced around in the pool to the music from Sarah's IPod for about half an hour before Sarah got a phone call from her boyfriend who lived 20 minutes away, in a place called American Canyon, asking her to come pick him up because he couldn't drive. She agreed, apologized to us, then left to get him. That was the first time my ex's true colors shown through.
As soon as his cousin was out of sight, he pulled my bikini bottom down, and before I could say "stop", was inside me. When he was finished, I'd never felt so dirty in my life, and wanted nothing more to do with him for a while. I quickly got out of the pool, and ran toward the house. He ran after me. Luckily however, he weighed quite a bit more than me (He was close to 400 pounds, I was 105 pounds at the time), and I could move quicker.
3 months later, he'd not done anything else to me, and had even apologized, in a backward sort of way, for raping me. I forgave him, although the memory was always in the back of my head....especially since my period hadn't come since then. He hadn't done anything else to me since, and we hadn't had sex.
I'd never felt pregnancy symptoms before, but I knew my body well enough to know something was different, so I took a home pregnancy test. It was positive before I could get the cap on it! I was suddenly scared, knowing bringing a baby into the situation wouldn't make things better, but worse for the two of us.
That night, I was sitting in the bay window in my bedroom when he came over. He knew something was bothering me, so he kept bugging me until I finally caved. "What would you do if I was pregnant?" I asked him. "Well, " he said, " I'd like to think I'd be the type of guy that could and would stay by you, and help take care of the baby. Why? Do you want a baby now?" I started to cry. "No, I don't....but I'm pregnant!"
To my surprise, he was thrilled! He threw his arms around me, shaking with excitement. I definately hadn't expected that reaction. To this day, it puzzles me.
2 months later (and many doctor's appointments later because every little thing freaked me out), I finally told him the doctor had told me it was a girl. More signs of his personality change began coming out. He didn't want a daughter...he wanted a son....and apparently he knew of a way to get one...cheat on me...and beat me, although I only knew one of the two was happening at the time. To make matters worse, he'd gotten me kicked out of his cousins' house, and I'd had to move somewhere else.
Then, in December 2008, he was at work, after coming over to my house and knocking me nearly unconcious with a metal pipe my landlord had laying around the house, I went into labor. I was 6 months pregnant. Luckily for both the baby and me, I was living in a 6 bedroom house with 5 other people (my ex wasn't one of them), and one of my roommates, a muscian with an addiction to pot, called an ambulance when he found me after he came home from band rehearsal. At the hospital, they were able to stop labor, and I stayed there for 2 weeks while my injuries healed...I got out just in time for Christmas.
Another month passed, along with many more beatings and hospital trips, but the baby was, somehow, still thriving inside me. Until, January 29th. My ex came over to my house while I was sitting in my living room visiting with a friend I hadn't seen for a while, and said we needed to talk. I was supposed to be on bedrest also, so I wasn't supposed to even leave the couch. (I didn't have a bed...the couch was my bed, and my roommates had been taking care of me)
He wouldn't shut up, so finally I went outside, onto the back porch, where one of my roommates and his girlfriend were sitting. Before I knew it, my ex was yelling at me, accusing me of cheating on him. When my roommate's girlfriend (who was my best friend at the time), tried to defend me, he punched her, giving her a black eye, then turned back to me. My roommate was furious. He hated seeing my ex hurt me, but he definately wasn't going to stand for him hitting his girlfriend.
My roommate stood up to beat my ex up, but just as he did, my ex pushed me down the flight of stairs (we were on the second floor), onto the pavement below. I instantly went into labor, full out, and was in more pain than even just labor pains. My friend who I'd been visiting with had seen everything from the window inside, and called both the police and an ambulance.
The ambulance was there within minutes (I lived 10 minutes from the hospital). They loaded me up, and I gave birth to my daughter Jeanette Marie Pagliero Sanchez on the way...she wasn't breathing. Despite efforts to get her breathing, she was pronounced dead not long after arriving at the hospital. Along with the loss of my daughter, I'd also suffered severe a concusion, a broken ankle and wrist, a broken nose, and a ton of bruises.
My ex was never arrested for anything because when the police arrived, he was no where to be found, and the only witnesses who saw HIM do anything, were druggies, (All of my roomies were pot heads although I never, and won't ever, do drugs.) and i was too scared of him to press charges.
It wasn't until after I went home to my parents here in Tennessee that I found out he'd been cheating on me with three other women. 2 of the others had gotten pregnant with girls. 1 of them had miscarried on her own, the other had an abortion. The 3rd woman had a boy....she and my ex just got married. All I can say is may God have mercy on her soul.....but I have it on good authority that she beats him instead of the other way around. So, maybe their son won't be like his father!
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